The Footprints in My Sand

      My initial goal when I started this blog was to post at least once a week, and it's been almost two weeks since my first post so I figure I owe you guys a couple posts in the next few days. Lucky for me, I've had quite a few memorable experiences since my last post. I just had to decide which ones to write about first  and then make time to type it all out. This last Sunday, I went back to Idaho for one missionary farewell, but I ended up going to three. Each one of these missionary farewells was different from the others, but I left each missionary farewell feeling extremely blessed and full of the spirit. I've decided to write a post about each of these missionary farewells and how each one had an impact on me spiritually. 

     This post is going to be about the last of the three farewells I went to Sunday. This farewell was for one of my best friends. I didn't plan on going at first though because it was just his YSA ward farewell, and I was already planning on going to his home ward farewell a few weeks later. I initially turned down his invitation to come, but eventually after some nudging, something inside me told me I needed to go so I did. 

     When I first got to the sacrament meeting, I could tell that the atmosphere of this ward was different from anything I had experienced before. Compared to my singles' ward back in Salt Lake City, there was hardly anyone here. The place was quiet, and there was barely anyone there. We were welcome with a smile by the bishopric though, and we took our seats in the pews as my friend went to take his seat up on the stand. After the sacrament, the time had come for my friend to give his talk. I can honestly say I didn't know what to expect at first. My friend was a funny guy when he wanted to be and he was pretty smooth with the ladies, but I hadn't had many opportunities to hear him talk in church or in seminary. He admitted to me earlier in the day that he had written the whole talk last night, but his talk was fantastic though! Not that I would say I didn't see it coming, but he really knew his stuff. He's definitely a spiritual giant of sorts in my book. 

     There was one part of his talk that struck a chord with me though. This was when he read a poem most of you are probably very familiar with called "Footprints in the Sand." Just like the rest of you, I had heard this poem plenty of times before. I even gave a volunteer devotional in seminary about it during my sophomore year in high school using one of my mom's key chains that had the poem inscribed on it. I have never had such a power spiritual experience with it though then I did that day in that almost empty chapel as my friend read it to the congregation. I can count the times I have seen this friend cry on one hand, and yet here he was up on the stand trying not to choke up as he read this simple poem many of us have never even given much thought to at all even though we hear it quite often. The spirit I felt as he struggled to get through this poem was so powerful. I went home and reflected upon the poem and what it meant to me. 

     "Footprints in the Sand" is initially about one man's reflection of his life and his realization of just how much the Lord has helped him throughout his life. After reading through the poem again a few times, I reflected upon my own life. I can see times in my life where there are two sets of footprints in the sand as I walked with the Lord, and I can see times in my life where I only see one set of footprints in the sand because the Lord carried me. As I thought more about the footprints in my sand, I realized there was more to it than just those two examples. As I looked deeper, I saw times in my life where there were still two sets of footprints in the sand, but my footprints were far away from his because I had chose to stray away from Him. Sometimes these instances were short-lived and my footprints quickly returned to the spot next to his, but there were also times when this was not the case. During these times, my footprints were far away from his for quite some time, and it appeared as if they had no intention of turning back. That was until I slowly began to see more sets of footprints appear in the sand. These footprints didn't belong to the Lord. He was still out of my reach. These footprints belonged to the people in my life who the Lord had sent to help slowly bring me back to Him. They were the footprints of the people who I am privileged to call my friends. As I look at the footprints in the sand, I can see how these people clung to both sides of me and held my hands as they slowly showed me the way back to the Lord. The best part of this entire story is that I can still see those footprints walking next to mine. My friends brought me back to the Lord, but they never left me either. Not only do I stand tall and walk next to the Lord again now, but I also have my friends there standing next to me and supporting me every step of the way. There aren't just two sets of footprints in my sand. There are too many to count, and I couldn't be more grateful for all the different people in my life that these footprints belong to. As each one of them reads this post, I want to thank them for everything they have done. Thank you for coming to get me when I had strayed too far from the Lord. Thank you for helping guide me back to Him. Thank you for staying with me once I found the Lord again. Thank you for being the footprints in my sand.

Footprints In The Sand

--Author Mary Stevenson--

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. 
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. 
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. 
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, 
other times there was one only. 
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, 
when I was suffering from anguish, 
sorrow or defeat, 
I could see only one set of footprints, 
so I said to the Lord, 
“ You promised me Lord, 
that if I followed you, 
you would walk with me always. 
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life 
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. 
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, 
“ The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, 
my child, is when I carried you.”

My Conversion Story

I spent over 3 months filling out my mission papers. There multiple bumps in the road, times where I felt defeated, and even a moment where I seriously considered giving up, but I didn’t. Last night was evidence to me that everything I had done was completely worth it. Last night I opened up my mission call! I have been called to serve as a missionary in the New York Utica mission, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ll leave for the MTC on May 29^th and soon after that I’ll be off to New York to spread the Lord’s gospel for 2 years.

As I think about spending the next two years of my life sharing the Lord’s gospel with the people of New York and converting them, I think about my own conversion. Now I know what many of you are thinking. You were born and raised in this church. What do you mean by your own conversion? Let me explain. I always believed in this gospel and in this church, but I cannot say that I always lived this gospel and its teachings. Yes, I showed up to seminary and participated like a good student; I went to mutual every Tuesday night and participated in the activities; and I went to church every Sunday and fulfilled my priesthood callings. Despite all of this though, I felt like I was just “going through the motions.” I never fully understood why I felt this way back then, but I look back on it now and understand what was happening. I was doing everything the Lord asked me to do, but that was only part of it. I needed to put my trust in the Lord and allow his gospel and the things I was being taught to change me and to change my life.

My lack of trust in the Lord was never more evident than in my decision to serve a mission. From the time I was a freshmen in seminary, I was constantly asked the question I dreaded so much. “Are you going on a mission?” I knew the choice was mine to make, but the pressure just felt so overwhelming. That’s why I always just “went through the motions” answered with something like “Yes” or “Of course” even though in my heart the answer was always “No.” The one thing I can find comfort in is that I never gave up on God despite the way I felt about a mission, and I owe this to a very close friend of mine. From the time she found out I didn’t want to go on a mission to today, she never gave up on me even on the days I had given up on myself. She told me to put my faith in God, to tell him all about my fears about a mission, and to pray to him for help and guidance. She guaranteed me that if I would do all of this with a sincere heart that the Lord would show me the way I needed to go.

I can’t explain why, but I believed her. I did what she said, and I turned myself over to the Lord. I prayed day in and day out for almost four years. Throughout those years, I never got an answer, but I never gave up either. Something inside me told me to keep praying and eventually God would answer, so I kept praying. It took me quite a long time, but I realized why the Lord wasn’t telling me anything. You see, the whole entire time I had been praying to God about my mission, I had been praying with the intent that I would get the answer I wanted not that I would get that answer God had in mind. I realized I needed to humble myself before the Lord if I ever wanted to receive an answer to my prayers, so I did. I changed my attitude, and I changed my prayers. I was no longer praying for God to give me the answer I wanted, but I was praying for God to give me the answer he needed me to hear. Although the answer to my prayers didn’t come immediately, the Lord did answer my prayers, and I know the answer to my prayers came about because of the changes I had made to my search for answers to my prayers.

When God answered my prayers about a mission, the answer was so definite and resounding that there was no way I could ignore Him any longer. Despite all my fears and worries, God showed me that not only was a mission something I was capable of doing, but that a mission was something he needed me to do. I’ll admit that this was a hard concept for me to grasp at first. I was just another young man from a small town in Idaho. I tried to talk my way out of things by asking myself questions like “What difference would it make if one young man didn’t go on a mission?” or “It’s just too hard. If God really needed you, don’t you think he’d make the pathway easier?” Little did I know, God had an answer to these questions as well as an answer to my prayers.

 I had a lot of work to do in order to go on a mission, but God was there for me. He showed me that even if I was just another young man from a small town in Idaho that he needed me. He showed me that even though the pathway looked rough, he was going to be there with me every step of the way. I’ll be honest with you. My life was quite a mess up until this point because I hadn’t been living like a future missionary, but I couldn’t let that stop me from cleaning it up and starting to live the right way. Throughout the whole process of cleaning things up, God was there for me. The pathway was rough, but he was there to help me out when things got hard. I can even say that I felt him carry me at times when I just felt like giving up.

I can’t repay him enough for what he has done for me. Throughout this entire process, I have felt my burdens become lighter, and I have felt the chains of temptation being lifted off of me. I was in the dark, but he showed me the way. He led me out of temptation and brought me back to the light. I can see now what I was missing in my life all along. I can see the difference between the young man I was and the young man I am now. I am who I am today because I trusted in the Lord, and I allowed his gospel and his teachings to change my life. I trusted in the Lord, and I’m happier than I have ever been. To steal a few words from one of my favorite speakers ever, Al Fox – “This… this is happiness. This is real happiness.”

I know a mission isn’t going to be easy. I know it’s going to try me physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and so much more, but I also know that the Lord has prepared me for this. He needs me in New York. He needs me to help him bring the same real happiness he brought to my life to the people of New York. I may be nervous about leaving everything I know for two years to go to New York, but I trust in the Lord. I know he will always be with me as long as I trust in him. The Lord took my MESS and turned into a MESSAGE. Now, it’s my job to go spread it. New York here I come!