A Change You Can See

     My last post (The Footprints in My Sand) was about one of three missionary farewells I had attended the past Sunday. I promised you I would write about the other two too, and this is the next post in the trilogy. This time I'm writing about the first farewell I went to on that Sunday. This farewell was really special to me. Throughout high school, I hung out with this big group of guys who are still my best friends today. They mean the world to me, and I wouldn't trade the friendships I have with them for anything in the world. The first farewell of this Sunday was for one of these guys. It was special because he is the first one out of this group to be leaving on his missions. Almost all of us have our calls now and we will all be leaving soon, but he was the first. It proved to be very hard for me to hold back a few tears as I sat there in that chapel listening to him speak. Sure, I had friends leaving on missions left and right every week, but this was different. It's as if everything was becoming so real now. I was no longer a sophomore in high school watching my older friends leave on missions; I was no longer a college freshmen just watching friends I had known throughout high school leave on their missions; this time I was a future missionary myself watching one of my best friends in this whole world give his farewell talk. He will be leaving for the MTC in 5 days, and the rest of us will be following him one by one as our departure dates get closer and closer too. All of this just began to sink in as I was sitting there in that chapel listening to him speak.
     I know that the Lord knew the feelings that were going to be running through me as I sat in that sacrament meeting that morning though, and He had also been listening to the prayers I had been giving for the past couple of weeks. What occurred in that sacrament meeting was a living breathing testament to the fact that Christ knows me, hears me, and answers prayers. My friend was not the only "missionary" speaking in that sacrament meeting that morning. There was also an elder returning from his mission who gave his homecoming talk right after my friend's farewell talk. As you listened to this elder talk about the experiences he had had while on his mission, the spirit completely enveloped the chapel. I could feel it all around me, and I could hear the words "Listen up. This is what you were looking for. This is what you need." The Lord was speaking to me, and I have no doubt he was speaking through that elder too. The words he spoke were just simple yet powerful stories about his mission, something you would hear in every missionary homecoming talk, but these simple words brought me so much comfort too. I could feel in my heart that I would be okay. The Lord knew about the nerves I had been feeling, and the nerves I was feeling that very morning while listening to my friend give his farewell talk. The Lord was quietly reassuring me that although it was going to be hard to watch as all of us slowly began to leave for our missions, we were making the right decision to serve the Lord and become a valuable part of his army.
     Other than bringing peace and comfort to my soul in a time where I needed it, the Lord also used this sacrament meeting to answer the prayers I had been offering up to him lately. A mission is no easy decision to make no matter what. I know that and so do others. My non-member roommates here at college ask me if I'm crazy sometimes, and to be honest, I don't blame them. Leaving everything you know for two years, journeying to a different state or even country, devoting your entire heart, mind, might, and strength to preaching the Lord's gospel, and paying for it yourself is not something every one would do. The idea of actually leaving has always made me nervous, and the closer I get, the more nervous I get. This was something I know every future missionary must feel every so often though, so I asked for the Lord's help. Every night I would pray. The one thing I felt myself saying more than anything else was "show me the difference, show me the difference between who I am now and who I can become by serving my mission."
     As I sat in that sacrament meeting and listened to this returned missionary speak, I knew the Lord was quietly answering those prayers. I had just watched my friend who was about to depart for the MTC get up and give his talk. You could tell he was nervous. Who wouldn't be? This was the last thing many people would hear from you until you gave your homecoming talk in two years. I could see me in him. In a few short months, that would be me. I'd be standing up in front of my ward, family, and friends, giving my farewell talk. I'd be nervous as can be thinking about how I would soon be leaving all of this for two years. That's when the returning missionary got up to give his talk. As he talked I felt the spirit, but I also saw in him the answer the Lord was giving me. It was right there in front of me. I had asked the Lord to "show me the difference," and here it was. Just like I said, my friend was me. The nervous future missionary who was only a few weeks away from entering the MTC, and the returned missionary was the future me. He was what I would become as I served the Lord for two years with everything I had. It wasn't just an answer to my prayers. It was a change you can see. 
     Yes, going on mission is a hard decision to make, but the blessings one can receive from it are incomprehensible. The Lord knows how hard it is, and He will be there with you every step of the way. You have him on your side, you have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost with you, and you have the support of everyone back home too. You will grow and change on your mission in a way that you could never have imagined before your mission. The person you were versus the person you will become is the greatest change the Lord could ever evoke upon your life. I'm not crazy for choosing to serve a mission like my roommates might think sometimes. The only thing I am crazy about is the Lord and His gospel. That's why I've chosen to spend the next two years of my life sharing it with others. The Lord has blessings and promises reserved just for me, and I know going on a mission is the next step I need to make on the path to becoming closer to Him and receiving those blessings and promises.
      I want to close with a quote from Al Fox's most recent blog post. "This gospel is for you. These blessings & promises are for you. You belong to a part of this.  This- what we’re a part of- is real. What you do does make a difference. His ways- His promises- are worth it." The second half of the quote resembles the change I want myself and others to see in me after my mission. "And how grateful I am that I decided to keep going. How grateful I am that I made the decision to trust. The decision to have faith. How grateful I am for the decision to choose God. I do not have words adequate enough to express my gratitude I have for how I feel. For who I have become. For what my life is today. It would not be have I not made those decisions. Choose. Choose Daily. Choose God." As I future missionary, I chose. I choose daily. I choose God. I will always choose God.