Up until this point, I've used this blog for gospel/inspirational related posts, and although I do plan on returning to writing more posts like that again soon, I felt the need to break the mold tonight in honor of a man who has been a role model in my eyes for many years since I first saw him on the very first episode of Glee. Tonight's episode of Glee on Fox was completely dedicated to remembering Cory, and I just wanted to take a moment to voice my feelings about tonight's episode and Cory. I know not many people will probably read this, but it's worth it to me. So here it is....
- It opened up with Kurt's words about how the cause of Finn's death wasn't at the heart of matter. They rang painfully true to the actual passing of Cory Monteith, and I knew this was going to be a tear-jerking hour.
- Mercedes's rendition of "I'll Stand By You" was breathtaking, and her reference to Finn singing it to the sonogram of what he thought at the time was his baby left me feeling tears welling up in my eyes.
- The dialogue between Kurt, his father (and Finn's father) Burt, and Finn's mother Carol was the moment I swore I was going to just start bawling. I held the tears in as Kurt put on Finn's letterman jacket and recalled how Finn was like a knight in shining armor every time he saw him wearing this jacket. I felt the tears continue to come as I listened to Burt lament about how he just should have hugged Finn more and now he can't. A tear or two managed to escape my eyes though upon listening to Carol's heartbreaking words about how much of a hole Finn has truly left in her life - She has to wake up every morning and remember all over again that Finn is gone. She will forever be a parent, even though her son is gone.
- Then came Puck... hard on the outside, raw, emotionless Puck. It struck my heart strings to see how much he was struggling with losing his best friend, but the moment he let it all out in the locker room with Coach Beiste was the moment I almost let it all out too. I'll never forget the words Coach Beiste said: "All we've got left is his voice in our heads. You've gotta make it good enough, because that's all we have left." That's when it struck me... that's all any of us have left. From his family to the cast to his fans to Lia, all we've got left is his voice in our head.
- Santana was almost a tougher nut to crack then Puck. She felt like she couldn't be "soft" because she was known by everyone as such a cold-hearted person. Her rendition of "If I Die Young" was heart-wrenching, but it was what pursued afterwards that broke peoples' hearts. The words she wrote about Finn weren't flashy or special, but they were from her heart, the heart that up until that moment was supposedly cold and lifeless. Turns out it wasn't. Kurt's words here were deep as well: "Guilt is a wasted emotion."
- Sue Slyvester, or the cold heartless emotionless b**** as Santana referred to her as, had a moment of her own too. We all knew Sue had emotions, but I had no idea they could be so deep until she spoke of her heartache about Finn's death. She gave him such a hard time all the time, but deep down, she thought Finn was amazing. She thought she had plenty of time to teach alongside him and tell him later, and now.... she doesn't.
- Okay. Honesty hour. If you watched the episode tonight and DIDN'T cry during Rachel's performance of "To Make You Feel My Love" then you are the one who has no heart. There are not words to describe the emotions that coursed through my body and the rest of America as Rachel belted out this song. That's why Rachel didn't speak, she did what she does best. She sang, and sing she did. The dialogue after this with Schue and the plaque placed in the glee club room at the end of this sequence was the cherry on top of Rachel's grieving process. When you heard Rachel say "and we'd live happily ever after," you knew it wasn't just Rachel speaking. That was Lia grieving too. Rachel and Lia had lost "their person." It was heartbreaking. The quote on the plaque cemented Finn in the minds of America the way he should always be remembered - carefree, fun loving, and an all around great guy. "The show must go... all over the place... or something." AMEN.
- Glee couldn't end the episode without having Mr. Schue break down too. He had been the rock for everyone in this time of great sorrow and hardship, and I knew from personal experience it was only a matter of time until he broke down himself. He was Finn's father figure before Burt married Carol, and there is not a doubt in my mind that Mr. Schue saw Finn as his son too. That's why he took Finn's letterman jacket when no one was looking. I knew he took it because he more than anyone else needed to have a part of his "son" that he could hold close forever because he would never again get to hold Finn himself close ever again. The last thing we hear in this heartfelt episode are the pain-driven sobs of Mr. Schue as the screen fades to black. His sobs match the pain-driven sobs of Cory Monteith's family, friends, cast mates, fans, and Lia once they too realized they would never again get to hold Finn himself close ever again.
Say what you want about Glee as a television show or the fact that I still watch it, but tonight's episode was something for everyone to remember and for television to be proud of for quite some time. Fox and the producers of Glee put together a truly beautiful tribute to Cory Monteith, and I am grateful for that. Thank you Fox and Glee for allowing me to say goodbye to Cory Monteith, a man who will remain as a role model in my eyes for years to come.
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